If there was a relationship Bible, the phrase “I need some space/time for myself” would be the entrance logo into hell, written in bold neon lights on a billboard hanging over the gates. How many times haven’t we made the worst scenarios, even reached the phase of a breakup just because we heard this single line?

Yes, it’s harsh. When you feel the most comfortable, when you finally feel like letting go, being happy, flying, seeing unicorns, being on cloud nine, etc., here comes the bomb. “Would you like to spend some time apart every once in a while?. I need some space.”

The more I think about it, the more awkward it is; especially when you are the receiver of the message. You fall, with your face to the ground, and rack your brain to figure out what you have done wrong. Have you been overly attached? Were you suffocating them? Did you put pressure on them about something and did not realize it? Probably; for them to ask for some alone time.

You may be right. You may be wrong.
Or both, like Schrodinger’s cat.

The right part we already know. They got bored, they freaked out with the potential commitment, they asked for some free time to push you away. Even worse? They have alternative options and want to keep them all satisfied. Impossible? Not at all my dear. To be honest, when handling two people at the same time, the “I need my time” excuse is rather indisputable.

If you happen to belong to the aforementioned category -Dear Lord- you are unlucky and I’ll bring you a bottle of wine so we can empty it and cry over your misfortune.

But have you ever thought that there might be some people that need to spend time alone, especially at the beginning of a relationship, when the need for intimacy isn’t really at its best?

A reasonable human being would ask “what for” and here there are only a few potential answers. To go to the toilet without having to turn the tap on, to burp or empty their lower air ventilation system –yes, were talking about passing gas here!– without any complaints and/or failed attempts at discretion that will end up in a smelly outcome, or even to eat like a pig.

Want more? How about hanging out naked in your apartment, spending all day in pajamas a tracksuit or in granny pants, just because this way they feel more comfortable. Having a cigarette or a drink or their own.

Or maybe binge-watching the series they liked since they were kids and they are too shy to admit it to anyone. (All “My little pony” fans around the globe, you are safe!). Others may want to spend some time with friends and family, or even sleep like there’s no tomorrow.

So the next time that you (and me and all of the people) hear an “I want to be alone”-ish excuse, it would be best not to panic. Instead of seeing ghosts and imagining roman orgies, it is way better to consider that our Significant Other just wanted to sleep in front of the TV, drooling from the one side of their mouth.

Life is simple, and so should we be.

First Published @ http://www.pillowfights.co.uk/truth_fairy/item4517/We_all_need_some_alone_time