What is dead may never die
“What is dead may never die”. Despite being the House Greyjoy’s catchphrase, this particular saying applies perfectly to the ecosystem of relationships.
“What is dead may never die” can be a very accurate description of repressed feelings and unfulfilled desires. Each and every one of us has a story to tell, which could be about some kind of unfinished business, about “the one that got away”, or any other similar unresolved case filed under X; always the most recent one being the hardest to get over.
It works different for each one of us. However, the leftover feelings are always similar. A list of what-if’s, a bunch of words unsaid and a pile of deeds undone. You’ll overthink, you’ll get frustrated or you’ll regret. You will cut yourself off from that person and any group of people or place that reminds you of them, in your effort to make it easier to forget –sometimes it will get ugly though. History says you’ll probably change your mind soon enough and you’ll even end up apologizing.
Not that it’s going to make any difference. Unless both sides come clean, the story is not going to change or proceed in any better way.
Unresolved feelings, repressed emotions and second attempts with “the ones that got away” don’t really end well. Intentionally or not, feelings fade away, especially when nothing much happens to keep them alive. People take different paths, unlikely to cross again. New routines, emotional substitution and time work miracles with memory, or they will put you at least on the right track by helping you fake it until you make it. Once you’re there, fair play, you’ll have vanquished the demon of repressed feelings!
This precious and newfound peace of mind will be put to the test every time you‘re sent down to memory lane by a movie you’ll watch again, by a tune on the radio, or even by a random smell wafting down the road. It is highly likely that you’ll start taking for a sign any random and meaningless event around you. However, the deadly shot will come when you bump into the actual person you have the feelings for; the very moment that you realize it’s not dead yet (Jim).
No matter how hard you tried to suffocate it, put it in a box and throw it in the deep sea, the monster will come back swim back to the shore roaring at you.
You can’t make it go away like that. Ok, you can, but you won’t... It is a process and it takes time, energy and an intense internal struggle to manage to let go.
What you really have to do is to enjoy life and not hide from it. Face the consequences of your actions and take all the necessary risks, unless you want that monster lurking there forever.
You read well. Risks, I say. Cowardice is not your friend when you want to boldly go "where no man has gone before". If you want to make the most out of life, you’d better make sure that you’re going at it with everything you’ve got.
Come whatever may.
First Publication: pillowfighs.co.uk
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